Brave
by sectumsempra12
Summary: Hermione was leading a normal life after the war, much to everyone's shock, but an emergency trip to St. Mungo's leaves her with a decision to make that could turn everything she knows on its head.


Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Harry Potter.

_**Brave**_

A tiny leaf, turned golden by Fall, settled on top of the morning breeze, then dropped off after a short ride through a cottage window, where it floated down into a pile of dirty dishes. Before Hermione Weasley could even notice the intruder an enchanted sponge ground the leaf into a coarse powder. _Sofie's Soapy Dish Soap_ recognized the leaf bits as foreign particles, and it was duly zapped away.

Hermione's daughter and greatest source of pride, Auri, was beginning to discover the wonders of late sleeping at an early age, so after a ritualistic bowl of _Strawberry Snitches _and a kiss to her father's cheek the nine-year-old crashed on the couch. In the rare moment of peace the young mother took the time to thoroughly weed her garden, but hesitated when reaching for her wand. It had seen such wonderfully complex things that it seemed a shame to demean it with menial magic. Weeding a simple garden could be done the muggle way.

The garden under scrutiny was a large plot with a parameter of smooth pebbles for aesthetics. Hermione bent low over the colorful flowers... And toppled over.

"Mum!" wailed a little girl's voice hysterically. "Mum, what happened?" Auri bypassed the gravel path to her mother and opted to crash straight through a row of hedges in one mad dash.

Hermione smiled bravely at her little red-head and said, "Auri, flu St. Mungo's, ok? Tell them to send someone." While Auri ran for the house Hermione tried to massage her pounding headache.

* * *

Weasleys and Potters crammed into the Level Two, Magical Bugs, waiting room, although healers weren't sure it actually was a bug.

Petite little Auri was on her mother's bed, and Hermione's nieces, Anna and Hannah, sat on their Uncle Ron's lap. They were twins that belonged to Harry and Ginny Potter. Harry himself was leaned against the wall, frowning at her medical charts while Ginny held their third child. Several more in-laws, and nieces and nephews crowded outside.

"I just don't get it," Harry repeated once more. "Why can't they figure you out?"

"A sudden knock announced Healer Redwood's arrival. The woman adjusted her patient's potion-drip before getting to the news. "Any slight damage caused by the fall will be taken care of within the next few seconds."

"What exactly caused the fall, then?" demanded an angry Ron.

Redwood glared at him fiercely before continuing. "The potion will also help your headache, dear. As for the fall..." For the first time the healer hesitated. "Are you harboring any extreme emotions, Mrs. Weasley?"

"I don't think I really understand," Hermione murmured.

The Healer looked awkwardly around at the gathered family. "Well Mrs. Weasley, is their anything that's on your mind a lot? Almost constantly? Regrets, or maybe secrets?" the woman tried again.

"No. How would that help anyway?" Hermione slurred. A side-effect of the potion working its magic in her veins was causing Hermione to quickly become drowsy.

Redwood stared frustratingly down at her sleepy patient and continued impatiently, "Everyone expected so much from you, Hermione. You could have done anything, but instead settled for an out-of-the-way cottage and a... Family!" At this point Healer Redwood was absolutely ignoring the 'family'. "That must be upsetting for you, even a little bit. Surely you regr-"  
"I don't! This is going no where." The pale yellow potion finally closed in on Hermione, and she drifted off. "How could... Couldn't... Regret my... Little girl."

* * *

The dream was so frequent that Hermione often expected it most nights. What made it so special was that it wasn't just a dream, but a memory.

Hogwarts graduation, and event the trio missed, was made up for by an honorary ceremony that made mention of all the heroes, deceased and otherwise, of the final battle against Voldemort's reign. Harry and company were obviously invited, but it was ofter the event that Hermione found herself nearly every night.

Harry and seemed particularly distant after Professor McGonagall finished her closing speech. Ron, understandably, didn't notice his best friend's mood while grieving with Ginny and the other Weasleys. Hermione was really the only person that noticed him slinking off around the castle.

Beside the Black Lake, and within eye-sight of Dumbledore's tomb, a war memorial had recently been unveiled. Two ivory panels, one for the first war and one for the second, stood firmly rooted into the ground. Names of lives claimed by the struggle magically glittered in gold letters. Hermione found him tracing Dobby's name with a finger.

"I didn't realize the cost was so... huge," Hermione whispered.

Harry turned sharply toward her all of a sudden. "Sorry. What was that?" The young wizard's eyes showed evidence of tears, but then so did everyone's.

"Oh...Nothing. I was just saying... It was nothing" Harry wasn't listening anyway. Besides being red his eyes also were growing listless and fatigued. Hermione stepped toward him slowly to place a hand on his back. "I didn't realize this effected you so immensely, Harry. You're _really_ hurting."

He sighed, "I'm just tired, you know? Everything that happened around me results in death, Hermione, but now I suppose things could start moving forward. Ginny may still want me back, and you, Hermione, will always have... Ron, won't you?"

The question startled her because she most definitely wasn't the type to think that far ahead into the future. "Sure, I guess so. Why?" A look so alien came to Harry's face that Hermione was again startled. It looked like defeat.

It was in that instant that something ignited in Hermione for the first time in her life, and an unanswerable question presented itself to her. Did Harry Potter have some sort of feelings for her? In the back of her mind Hermione liked the idea.

* * *

Now-grown Hermione gently awoke to Redwood's distinct voice.

"Every second counts. That's why I brought her back," the healer explained. Upon noticing Hermione's moving eyelids the woman quickly moved into action. "We don't have long, Hermione, so you must listen to me!"

Still groggy, Hermione responded, "But I feel fine!"

"And you will, for a while. Something is causing your magic to destructively turn inward. Nearly one hundred percent of the time its some sort of suppressed secret. Emotions connected to the secret effect your health by effecting your magic. In your case it's causing all that magic inside to begin eating away at you."

"You speak like you know this for certain," Hermione replied. Despite her words Hermione could barely conceal the dawning inside.

The healer looked confuse as she hoisted her large arms onto her hips. "Well of course I do. There can be nothing else. All you have to do is let the secret out and things should hopefully go back to normal. Your magic will no longer be fighting ours, and we can save you. It's that easy!"

"That easy," Hermione mimicked. There was no doubt in her brilliant mind that the healer was correct, as her secret was a burning love for the dark haired, bespectacled man in her hospital room. "Well, you're wrong then."

The healer shook her head and began to say something, but Hermione beat her. "Out. Right now." As the healer left in a huff, Hermione had to make a decision. Life could be so 'easily' gained by literally shattering the foundation of her world. Her family. If she died, then they would grieve but ultimately go on. For them to know that Hermione had feelings after so many years for her best friend would make things unbearable.

The real question was whether Hermione had the courage to do what she ought to. _The Sorting Hat put me into Gryffindor for a reason. I can do this. Harry told me what it's like to die, so there's nothing to be afraid of. But I don't think I can leave Auri. _

Auri reached out and grabbed her mother's left hand. "Since they can't figure out what's wrong with you..." The girl's dark eyes narrowed to help keep the tears back, but at the thought of losing her mom they began flowing freely.

"You're so smart, you know that, Auri?" Hermione told her daughter. "You'll be just fine. I'm not worried at all."

Hermione looked to each person in the room, and all seven pairs of eyes housed tears. _Ron would never look at me the same. Harry would blame himself for the whole situation if he knew. Ginny would hate me. And Auri. I could never look her in the eyes again, not with the way she idolizes me. I have to be strong, though, and can't let them know how torn up I am._

"Hermione," Ron sniffed. "You don't have to be so brave. No one would think less of you if you broke down right now." He was still clinging to the hope that she would be fine, and Hermione saw it in his eyes.

"Ron. You have to accept this. If I can, I know you can," she said to her husband. He moved closer to her bed and knelt down beside it.

"I don't know if I can go on without you."

Suddenly she found herself surrounded by her three best friends, her child, and theirs. "I don't believe there could be a better way to go," she offered as comfort._ I'm going to lose it. I don't want to die, but I can't handle much more of this._

"Are you sure there's nothing you're keeping secret?" Ginny spoke up. _She's been nothing short of a sister to me since we've met. I couldn't do that to her._

A spasm of pain swept through Hermione's body. _Finally_. In one hand she held her daughter's. In the other she held Ron's. "I love you," she breathed. "All of you." Her body began to shut down, starting with her consciousness. Somewhere far away sensors went off, but Hermione's family didn't hear them.

((A/N- Ok so the bottom part was where I think it fell apart, according to my own feelings and the one review I have :). I wasn't trying to aim for 'selfish', but I see where it comes off like that. I was going to try to pull it off where she didn't see any reason to destroy her family's lives by telling them she loves Harry. It's not so much that she was afraid of upsetting Ron, Harry, or Ginny, because her daughter, nieces, nephews, and all the rest of them were in it, too. I've worked days on the first 2 thirds of the story on paper, but I was in a rush to get it up and wrote the last part at 1 in the morning on the computer, not that that's an excuse. When I have time I'm going to rewrite her death and the thoughts she has before it. Thanks for reading, even if you didn't quite enjoy it.

PS- Fibinaci, Auri is red-headed and Ron is her dad... :) ))


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